Margo Stutts Toombs - Performance Artist
  • Home
  • In the beginning...
  • Events: Coming, Going & Gone
    • The Organ-ic Variety Show
    • Texas Poetry Assignment Reading
    • Haunted Holidays
    • Fringe Festival - 2022 Anything Goes
    • WiVLA Showcase Dec 3 2022
    • Storytelling Showcase
    • Synkronicity June Soirée
    • Archway Readings
    • Stormy: The Opera
    • Body Language Screening
    • Writers Re-Treat
    • Houston Fringe Festival
    • S.P.A.C.E a WIVLA Collaboration
    • Acts of Defiance
    • Lake Charles Film & Music Festival
  • Videos
    • Storytelling on the Fringe 2020
    • Videos made on iPhone >
      • Stormy: The Opera Zine
      • 9-11 and Covid-19
      • What is the Virus? Really/
      • Nightmare in Sarajevo
      • WASH
      • Butterfly
      • Mr. Lantana
    • Cinepoems & Music Videos >
      • Ode to My Wound
      • Lazarus Cloth
      • Art Shadow
      • Urban Street Music
      • Stop it Juan - In progress
      • Beat Heart
      • Antidote for the Wicked World We Live In - Version I
      • Let Love Be the Change
      • Hope in My Veins
      • Liz' Song
      • I Don't Need No Estrogen to Have a Good Time
    • Liz Gilbert >
      • Award Presentation
      • Liz Un-Caged
    • Videos with Music & Dancing >
      • Song: C-PAP Tango
      • Ink Dancer
      • Juanita
      • What. This. Is. w/ jhon & Wayne Music
      • Dancing with Art 2017
      • Entanglements
      • donna e perkins - Paper Dance Sculptures
      • Halloween @ Archway Art Gallery
    • Human Interest >
      • Cuba
      • VaCa >
        • Puerto Vallarta
      • A Day at Work
      • Urban Stonehenge
      • Where I'm From
      • Serious Play - UH Senior Art Show
      • Mom's Photo Story
      • Sweet Diana
    • Humorous Videos >
      • Bananas
      • Morning Meditation for Regular People
      • Bitch is Ready for Tea
      • Sidewalk Psychic
      • The Colon Show
      • Wine Tasting with Chocolate
      • Granny Goodnight
      • How I Got Screwed at the Dead Sea Cosmetics Kiosk
      • Hot Tub Doritos - a puppet show w/ chips & crackers
    • Artsy F*rtsy >
      • Mourning Unfurled
      • Body Language
      • Circles in the Wind
      • The Lover's Eye
      • Prisoner of Love
      • On the Town
      • Stormy-M v1
    • Promotional Videos >
      • donna e perkins-Gone Awry
      • Queer State - Promo -1
      • Sizzle for - Stormy: The Opera
      • Sparkle Noir (2015)
      • BLK Gurls ~n~ WHT Boiz
      • The Art of donna e perkins
      • the Art of Johnny Rojas
    • Works in Progress
    • The Weight of Illusions
  • Publications
    • Friendswood Ekphrastic Poetry Contest 2022 >
      • The Comic Bear
      • Gold
    • Poetry & Flash >
      • An All-Night Conversation with You
      • The Care and Feeding of Your Penis Tree
      • Abecedarian: Cowboys at Gilley's
      • The Puzzle of Cats
      • Tommy
      • The Last Flight
      • Paper
      • Love over 60: An Anthology of Women's Poems
      • Batwing
      • Opossum,Oh Please
      • 2011 Texas Poetry Calendar
    • Articles, Blogs & Interviews >
      • Voyage Houston - w/ article & link
      • 100 Creatives
      • Houston 100 Creatives (in PDF form)
      • Radio Interview-Fringe Festival 2011
      • Me Kissing You
      • The Houston Press - Fringe Festival 2012
      • Houston Press Art Attack - Houston Fringe Festival 2012 - PDF
      • Grant Writing Handbook
  • Photos, etc.
    • Kidney Monster
    • Caturday Haiku - 10-11-24
    • Kashmir
    • Photos >
      • Videos played at The Barns 6-21-14
      • Photo in the Houston Press
      • Photos-The Colon Show
      • Photos-What's Eating Martha
    • Glitter, Guts and Glory
    • Redbubble >
      • Bootylicious BD T-shirt
      • Harriet Hair-on-Fire
Picture

The Care and Feeding of Your Penis Tree
Inspired by: Penis Tree, from Romance of the Rose manuscript (France) 14th Century
Winner of the Ekphrastic Flash Fiction (sex challenge) in the Ekphrastic Review
https://www.ekphrastic.net/ekphrastic-writing-challenges


Penis trees are fun to raise, and they provide the owner with a magical sense of power and purpose. They give the gardener a ready answer to the question, “Do you have the balls for that?” Some say the penis has a mind of its own. You can keep yours in line and happy with the proper treatment.
 
  • Choose the location for your tree carefully. The roots thrive in soft, wet, warm soil.
  • Space out your trees so they do not become root-bound.
  • Penis trees are an invasive species. Do not plant them close to other shrubberies. Avoid placing them near pussy willows and untrimmed bushes, especially if they have chlamydia.
  • Water on a regular basis. Nothing is worse than a dry penis. Lack of adequate hydration can lead to shrinkage: so, can cold water.
  • Keep your trees in low light. A sunburnt penis is a nightmare.
  • Keep your penises away from moist environments. Jock itch can make them grumpy and unattractive.
  • Transplant your trees as often as you like. They enjoy gentle pulling and tugging and new spaces to explore.
  • Occasional fertilizing is recommended. Try stroking its ego or just stroke it. You will know it’s successful if the penises grow.
  • Prune carefully when it is time. Balls should stay with their original penis.
 
Keep your penis tree contented, and you will have an unusual plant for years to come. It is not that hard.